It’s not OK, it’s never OK

May 25, 2020May 25, 2020 / Brienna / Leave a comment

As promised, this is a proper post/review of Know My Name by Chanel Miller. This book is memoir detailing the aftermath of Chanel’s sexual assault, which took place in 2015 at Stanford University at a frat party.

I remember hearing about this when it happened. I remember being vaguely outraged upon hearing his sentencing – 6 months! However, prior to reading her book, I did not read her victim statement, or really know any details of the case. Just bits and pieces and enough to know it was unfair.

Chanel’s story breaks my heart. She was shoved into a legal system without having much explained to her. And while she won her case, the way her legal team handled it seemed weird to me. Maybe I watch too much on TV or in the movies to know what should really happen.

It’s not OK that this happened to her. It’s not OK that it took YEARS for her to get justice. It’s NOT OK that he got off with a sentence of 6 months and out on probation after serving only 3 months.

I hate that the media apparently focused on his lost potential as an Olympic swimmer. Hello, wake up! I don’t want someone like him representing my country at the Olympics! What about her life? Why does his matter more?

Why are the victims of sex crimes further victimized by our society? Why are we so quick to make excuses for the assholes that do these things? Where is the solidarity and compassion for the ones who suffer the most?

It seems like I have a lot of questions and not many answers. I’m sickened by how our society reacts, and it’s horrible what people have gone through, will go through, are going through for the rest of their lives. As a society, we should protect the victims, not the perps. Yes, innocent until proven guilty, but geez, stop saying things like “she was asking for it” or commenting on how a woman was dressed. That’s not OK, it does not make it OK. It’s irrelevant.

The one good part of the story is that the judge was recalled. Over a million people signed online petitions to get this on the ballot, and he was voted out.

How do we make the system better? What can we do as individuals? One simple thing is to support (by donating or volunteering) organizations like Joyful Heart Foundation. They have initiatives to end the backlog, and get rape kits processed. I’m sure there are many other worthy organizations, this is just one example.

We can also speak up if we are victims of sexual assault or harassment. It’s time to say it’s not OK, it’s never Ok. And, of course, show compassion and caring for those who need it.

I feel silly rating a book like this, who am I to rate her memoir, to put a number of stars next to her experience of sexual assault? All I can say is she told her story from the heart, she moved me with her words, she is an excellent writer, and I’m so sorry this happened to her.

latest reads

May 12, 2016May 11, 2016 / Brienna / Leave a comment

Here’s another update on some of the books I’ve read lately. This collection is the books that I read while on vacation in Puerto Rico last month.

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith

This book was read by my book club before I joined. It came highly recommended and was an overall good read. It’s very character based and focuses on Francie Nolan as she grows up in Brooklyn. If you are looking for action or a plot-driven fiction, this probably not the book for you.

Legend by Marie Lu
Day is wanted by the republic, June is the republic’s child prodigy. Legend is the story of how they meet, and an introduction to world they live in. I was hoping for something a little deeper, it didn’t feel as strong as Hunger Games or Divergent, but that doesn’t mean it’s not good.

Paris Ransom by Charles Rosenberg
A mystery-thriller that wasn’t very good. The writing wasn’t great and the story took a long time to resolve, and wasn’t that interesting. This was shared with me, otherwise this is not something I would have picked on my own to read.

Sugar by Deirdre Riordan Hall
I received this for free as part of the Kindle First program, and was excited to read it. This is the story of a teenage girl dealing with weight, body image, and family issues. I wanted to love this book, but I felt that some parts of it were very cliched. Sugar, our main character, knows she’s overweight, isn’t happy with her weight, eats her emotions, etc. The turning point comes when she meets a boy who changes her life.

Why did it have to be a boy?

Fur Covered Wisdom: A Dog Can Change the Way You See the World by Gila Kurtz
Also free. Gila is the co-founder (and co-owner) of Dog Is Good, a lifestyle brand that sells clothing and dog accessories. Some time between acquiring this book and actually reading it, I forgot who she was, so it was a pleasant surprise to rediscover that while reading.

This is another book I really wanted to love. However, I feel her analogies between dog behavior and human life are very weak and very contrived to fit the points she wanted to cover about herself and her life.

It was inspiring to read about her reaching and striving to achieve her goals in life, but all in all, not the most interesting or well written book.

book review: Wild

January 28, 2013 / Brienna / Leave a comment

Wild by Cheryl Strayed

My rating: 2.5 / 5

This book is tough to rate. I wanted to like it, and I read it really quickly and mostly enjoyed it. But in the end, I just couldn’t relate to Cheryl. Personally, I was expecting a life changing experience, an open, honest, memoir, etc. Instead, I feel like I got a book about [spoiler alert, stop reading now if you don’t want to know any details] a woman’s who’s mother died, causing her to go on a sex and heroin binge, ruin her marriage and undertake a 90 day backpacking trip that, really, was probably not her best idea.

I kept waiting for her to have some emotional breakdown or revelation that never came. There was no big watershed moment. The biggest thing seems to be her deciding that she was OK as-is.

Did I miss something? Was there a hidden meaning, some hidden layer here that I missed? All I see is that she got really lucky. She was unprepared, over-packed, and out of money. She is lucky she didn’t die from any number of things. That being said, the one moment in the book that did feel real, that got my attention, was when she was slightly off the PCT on an unexpected side trail and ran into the bow hunters. I felt for her there, but again, I kept coming back to the fact that she could have, SHOULD have, been more prepared. Mace, pepper spray, etc, any of those things would have been extremely useful for her to have had with her on the PCT and I think she just got lucky.