It’s not OK, it’s never OK

May 25, 2020May 25, 2020 / Brienna / Leave a comment

As promised, this is a proper post/review of Know My Name by Chanel Miller. This book is memoir detailing the aftermath of Chanel’s sexual assault, which took place in 2015 at Stanford University at a frat party.

I remember hearing about this when it happened. I remember being vaguely outraged upon hearing his sentencing – 6 months! However, prior to reading her book, I did not read her victim statement, or really know any details of the case. Just bits and pieces and enough to know it was unfair.

Chanel’s story breaks my heart. She was shoved into a legal system without having much explained to her. And while she won her case, the way her legal team handled it seemed weird to me. Maybe I watch too much on TV or in the movies to know what should really happen.

It’s not OK that this happened to her. It’s not OK that it took YEARS for her to get justice. It’s NOT OK that he got off with a sentence of 6 months and out on probation after serving only 3 months.

I hate that the media apparently focused on his lost potential as an Olympic swimmer. Hello, wake up! I don’t want someone like him representing my country at the Olympics! What about her life? Why does his matter more?

Why are the victims of sex crimes further victimized by our society? Why are we so quick to make excuses for the assholes that do these things? Where is the solidarity and compassion for the ones who suffer the most?

It seems like I have a lot of questions and not many answers. I’m sickened by how our society reacts, and it’s horrible what people have gone through, will go through, are going through for the rest of their lives. As a society, we should protect the victims, not the perps. Yes, innocent until proven guilty, but geez, stop saying things like “she was asking for it” or commenting on how a woman was dressed. That’s not OK, it does not make it OK. It’s irrelevant.

The one good part of the story is that the judge was recalled. Over a million people signed online petitions to get this on the ballot, and he was voted out.

How do we make the system better? What can we do as individuals? One simple thing is to support (by donating or volunteering) organizations like Joyful Heart Foundation. They have initiatives to end the backlog, and get rape kits processed. I’m sure there are many other worthy organizations, this is just one example.

We can also speak up if we are victims of sexual assault or harassment. It’s time to say it’s not OK, it’s never Ok. And, of course, show compassion and caring for those who need it.

I feel silly rating a book like this, who am I to rate her memoir, to put a number of stars next to her experience of sexual assault? All I can say is she told her story from the heart, she moved me with her words, she is an excellent writer, and I’m so sorry this happened to her.

latest reads

May 12, 2016May 11, 2016 / Brienna / Leave a comment

Here’s another update on some of the books I’ve read lately. This collection is the books that I read while on vacation in Puerto Rico last month.

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith

This book was read by my book club before I joined. It came highly recommended and was an overall good read. It’s very character based and focuses on Francie Nolan as she grows up in Brooklyn. If you are looking for action or a plot-driven fiction, this probably not the book for you.

Legend by Marie Lu
Day is wanted by the republic, June is the republic’s child prodigy. Legend is the story of how they meet, and an introduction to world they live in. I was hoping for something a little deeper, it didn’t feel as strong as Hunger Games or Divergent, but that doesn’t mean it’s not good.

Paris Ransom by Charles Rosenberg
A mystery-thriller that wasn’t very good. The writing wasn’t great and the story took a long time to resolve, and wasn’t that interesting. This was shared with me, otherwise this is not something I would have picked on my own to read.

Sugar by Deirdre Riordan Hall
I received this for free as part of the Kindle First program, and was excited to read it. This is the story of a teenage girl dealing with weight, body image, and family issues. I wanted to love this book, but I felt that some parts of it were very cliched. Sugar, our main character, knows she’s overweight, isn’t happy with her weight, eats her emotions, etc. The turning point comes when she meets a boy who changes her life.

Why did it have to be a boy?

Fur Covered Wisdom: A Dog Can Change the Way You See the World by Gila Kurtz
Also free. Gila is the co-founder (and co-owner) of Dog Is Good, a lifestyle brand that sells clothing and dog accessories. Some time between acquiring this book and actually reading it, I forgot who she was, so it was a pleasant surprise to rediscover that while reading.

This is another book I really wanted to love. However, I feel her analogies between dog behavior and human life are very weak and very contrived to fit the points she wanted to cover about herself and her life.

It was inspiring to read about her reaching and striving to achieve her goals in life, but all in all, not the most interesting or well written book.

Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain

August 25, 2015August 25, 2015 / Brienna / Leave a comment

This book was really fascinating. As I’ve gotten older, I have certainly come to appreciate exercise more, and to cultivate a strong habit (or at least make an attempt).

Here are some highlights of the data presented in the book:

Exercise can improve your brain function and learning
- students that did cardio in the morning before school did better in english class than students that did not exercise
- students who had english immediately after exercise did better than students that exercised but had english class later in the day
Exercise can improve your mental health
- depression, stress, anxiety, ADD/ADHD can all (to some extent) be lessened/improved by exercising
Exercise can prevent / delay symptoms of neurological disorders Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s disease.
The current public health guidelines for exercise are probably too low. “Americans are so inactive that the experts are wary of providing guidelines that are too stiff, for fear that the whole country will give up”

If you are looking for motivation to exercise more, or to start exercising, I highly recommend reading this book. As a whole, our society could certainly stand an increase in physical exercise, and it seems as though all the mental health benefits would also be a positive!

After reading this, I’ve tried to pay more attention to how I feel immediately following exercise, throughout the day after, and on days that I don’t exercise. And what I’ve noticed is that I have more energy on the days I run in the morning, despite getting up earlier to fit it in. I’m also a little less stressed (and more patient on those days). Oh, and if I don’t run at all for a few days, I can definitely see a difference there too. Right now I have a broken toe, and I haven’t been able to run for over a week, and it’s been tough coming up with alternative things to do. It’s nice to do yoga again, but it’s not the same level of intensity.

What exercise do you enjoy?

Nothing to Envy

November 12, 2014November 15, 2014 / Brienna / 2 Comments

Before reading Nothing to Envy, I knew very little about North and South Korea.

The book does a wonderful job of telling the story of North Korea by weaving together the threads of several lives of average people living in North Korea before seeking asylum in South Korea.

It’s amazing what these people suffered under the rule of Kim Il-sung and his son Kim Jong-il. They were forced into submission, oppressed, starved, and cut-off from the rest of the world. With no TV, radio, or internet, the North Koreans knew very little of what was going on in the outside world. Bypassing the controls on the TV or radio to get information from South Korea was taboo and strictly forbidden.

I can’t imagine living like that, and it’s hard to understand how many people did, and how many were willing to live that way. Repressed and taught from an early age to revere Kim Il-sung and his son Kim Jong-il as supreme beings, many people were recruited to spy and report on their neighbors and families.

People were starving, dying, imprisoned for something as simple as wanting a better life. Food was scarce, growing and selling your own yet another item on the list of forbidden things. Many people did this anyway, and often were arrested or punished for these crimes, when all they really wanted was enough food to live.

Why didn’t the rest of the world do anything about what was happening to these people? How many people knew the truth of the collapse while it was happening? Foreign visitors were shown a very precise view of North Korea, basically staged and very controlled. Much of the support for the country was coming from communist influence, like Russia. The US withdrew aid when North Korea refused to end its nuclear weapons program.

Many people were eventually able to escape North Korea, and many have sought refuge in South Korea. Unfortunately, many were unable or unwilling to escape, and many fleeing left loved ones behind.

Read the book and find out what happens! It’s good, I promise! This is one of the best books I’ve read in 2014, and for those who know me, you know that’s about 60 books so far…

5 out of 5 stars.